Other Partners: connecting with others who’ve been there

Fertility treatment can be surprisingly lonely for partners. She may have friends, online groups, and communities built around what she's going through. You may not know a single other guy who's been through it, or at least, you don't think you do. But talking to someone who's been in your shoes can be one of the most helpful things you do. They understand the waiting, the helplessness, the awkward collection room, and the hard calls, without you having to explain any of it.

One thing to know: You probably know more men who've been through fertility treatment than you realize. Most just never talk about it. Once one person opens up, it's common to find out a friend, coworker, or relative has been there too.

Why it helps

• You feel less alone, and less like you're the only one struggling

• You get practical tips from someone who's done it

• You can say things you might not say to her, family, or friends

• You hear how other guys coped, and what they wish they'd done differently

• You see that it's possible to get through this, whatever the outcome

Where to find other partners

1. Start closer than you think
Consider telling one trusted friend, brother, or coworker what you're going through. You may be surprised how often the response is "We went through that too."

2. Ask your clinic
Some fertility clinics run support groups or can connect you with partner groups in your area.

3. Join a support group
RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association offers support groups across the U.S., including online options. Some are open to couples, and some are focused on partners or men.

4. Try online communities
Reddit communities like r/IVF and r/maleinfertility have active threads where partners share experiences and ask questions, often anonymously. Online groups can be a low-pressure way to start.

5. Listen to other men's stories
Fertility podcasts, blogs, and social media accounts that feature men's perspectives can be a good way to hear from others before you're ready to share yourself.

6. Connect through Half the Cycle
We're building a place for partners to share stories, ask questions, and learn from each other. Every story shared here helps another partner feel less alone.

How to start the conversation

It doesn't have to be a big moment. A few simple ways in:

• "We've been going through IVF. Have you ever been through anything like that?"

• "This fertility stuff is a lot. How did you handle it when you went through it?"

• In an online group: "First time posting. My wife and I are starting IVF, and I'm not sure what to expect."

Tips for getting the most out of it

• Share at your own pace. You don't have to tell your whole story right away.

• Respect her privacy. Agree together on what's okay to share about her and her treatment.

• Take advice with a grain of salt. Everyone's experience is different, and medical questions belong with your care team.

• Give back when you're ready. Once you've been through it, your story could be exactly what another guy needs to hear.

The bottom line

You don't have to go through this alone, and you don't have to figure it all out yourself. Connecting with other men who've been there can make the hard parts feel lighter, and remind you that you're part of something bigger than your own story.